:TACTICAL NEGOTIATION: Control is a poor strategy for every kind of relationship

Some people think controlling others is power, and believe that those who are controlled are somehow ” weak”, or weakminded. However, THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE.

Those who control are fear driven and can not muster the skills of self-control to engage in healthy relationships, and those who are controlled are powerful and strong-minded individuals that are willing to engage fully without being guarded. Control is a poor strategy for every kind of relationship (at school, work, home, or in contractual relationships such as when selling your home, or business arrangements) because control only works for as long as the three (3) neurological “gates” that protect our soul are compromised. These “gates” are memory, understanding, and will.

We are created for connection, and our subconscious does its job well. It works too quickly for our internal voice to consciously recognize that it is seeking to rectify the compromised areas.

Inside this discrepancy, one’s subconscious naturally takes a position of trusting and defending the other- for as powerful and strong-minded individuals, we know we can not change someone else, and instead seek to self-correct by controlling our self-doubt and fear with action.

We readily accept the other’s suggestion that the issue is one of “poor communication” ( either verbal or through body language), or a ” misunderstanding on our part”; for it IS easily within our control to prosocially correct ourselves for the benefit of continuing and prospering the relationship.

It is only when the memory and understanding “gates” are checked, a pattern is evaluated and the gates are guarded, that our free will empowers us to end the control imposed upon it.

Free will is the protector of the soul. It is a God-given gift to every person. It remains free when we enact our ability to diligently guard our memory and understanding.

If you recognize that a loved one is experiencing feelings of self-doubt or fear as a result of a relationship at home, work, school, or in a transactional or business relationship, please encourage them that they have power over it. Most likely it is the result of the influence of attempted control from a weak person.

When selling your home, please choose your agent wisely. Find an agent who well understands negotiation strategies and tactics.

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